| Lecture
by Lee
Firstly, have
you achieved a Merit grade (30 or higher) in the MSc?
If not, then please
leave, only the true elite are able to take on doctoral level
9-ball!
This degree
is based on the Ghost Drill and is intended to
make you a runout machine! You play the Ghost in a 9-ball race to
10. The Ghost is the ultimate 9-ball player - he never misses! If
you miss one ball, he clears up and you lose the frame. The format
is - you break the balls, and then you have ball in hand (no balls
removed!). If you run out in one visit from ball in hand from the
break, you win the frame. If you miss a single shot, the Ghost wins
the frame and you re-rack the balls.
As there is
no grading system at the PhD level of academia, scores are reflective
of the various stages you encounter on the PhD programme. So, in
your race to 10 with the Ghost, the number of frames you win
reflects one of the following stages of the PhD:
0 -
Supervisor commits suicide
1 - Supervisor has nervous breakdown and gently suggests academia
may not be for you
2 - Minimally acceptable research design constructed
3 - Literature review complete
4 - Theoretical and empirical chapters complete
5 - Thesis submitted
6 - Viva passed
7 - Chapter(s) published in crappy journal
8 - Chapter(s) published in high-quality journal
9 - Research published, post-doc fellowship secured, people start
citing your work
10 - Instant Lectureship, obscenely large research grant and your
very own smoking-hot research assistant, international recognition
and a truly magnificent beard
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